


The Four Seasons of Love

by zhonggli



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Death, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gods, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, Immortal Kageyama Tobio, M/M, Mild Smut, POV Kageyama Tobio, Past Lives, Pro Volleyball Player Hinata Shouyou, Reincarnation, Soulmates, Summer, Time Skips, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:13:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24473323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhonggli/pseuds/zhonggli
Summary: The Gods have long cursed demi-god Kageyama. He will spend his immortality seeing the world change, as well as meeting the reincarnations of Hinata who will fall in love with him every time. Only to break his heart after.Where Kageyama knows the ending of their story, but chooses to love every time.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 3
Kudos: 70





	The Four Seasons of Love

**Author's Note:**

> hello, this isn't my first piece of literature, but it's my first haikyuu au!! this was written quite a few months ago, but i stopped writing it. then last night, i suddenly had the urge to finish it, so yeah, i offer you this. hehe.

Above the two boys was a dusky sky painted of murkiness obscurity, dotted with silver specks. The moon seemed like it was touching the sea in front them, its lunar luster shining, casting light down the path. Surrounding them was the remains of their village, smoldering in ashes. It smelled of sea salt water, combined with burnt wood chips and the ice in the ground was starting to thaw slowly. Kageyama opened his eyes, meeting Hinata’s amber ones. Pretty. They were always pretty. Like molten hazelnut with swirling dark undertones. Always full of life. That’s why seeing those bright colors in his eyes fade away made Kageyama’s heart feel a piercing sensation.

“Tobio,” Hinata called. “I’m sorry.”

Kageyama shook his head. “Don’t be.” He held the boy closer, kissing the top of his head.

“I love you.” Hinata’s voice was depleted with energy and he didn’t bother to fight his tears. Kageyama could only nod. “My love for you will always be true, every time.”

Kageyama clutched the boy’s hands, his own trembling, the sound of the waves crashing. The sea was always their comfort, their little acoustic oasis that granted them peace. As kids they held hands and drenched their feet in the cold water, smiling at their hazy reflections. They would sit in the sand and watch as the light fades, the skies turning darker as the passage of time takes place. This is where they met and the thought of everything ending here made Kageyama bite his lip so hard it bruised. _No_. He will never cry. He will not play into the Gods’ hands.

“I love you,” Hinata repeated.

Kageyama wiped Hinata’s tears, noticing how cold his skin was. “I love you too,” he replied.

“I can never hurt you.”

Kageyama smiled. “I know.”

From the dark sky rose a golden disc that painted the firmament a buoyant hue of gold. The new season birthed flowers of citrusy scents and trees from the brown soils, the air windswept by the kiss of springtime.

“It’s your favourite season Shoyo,” Kageyama remarked.

“Spring,” Hinata whispered.

Hinata’s body grew colder, his hands slipped from his lover’s hold, and Kageyama could only scream into the abyss of a sea in front of him, calling Hinata’s name over and over until his voice started to hurt and become hoarse, knowing that he won’t receive any reply. His voice was rough, shaking, and sorrowful. He held the boy in his arms. As a demi-god, Kageyama knows that you can never defy the Gods nor the fates. That once your wheel of life has been set in motion, it can never be changed. That’s how it works. But he chooses to trust Hinata’s words.

Because he truly believes that Hinata can never hurt him.

... 

The winter storm brewed.

Kageyama lets out a knackered sigh and traipsed from his chamber, the tatami mat flooring nipping cold at his bare feet. Tightening his nightwear, he opened the door and is met with a trembling figure. _Was he trudging in the snow?_ That was Kageyama’s first question upon seeing the boy’s shaking, thin build from the cruel cold, his clothes embroidered with white flakes. The raven-haired pulled him in, shutting the door as the harsh wind danced along the wintry ice crystals of a snowfield. He prepared a cup of chamomile tea, the sweet, apple-like smell of it calming. They sat in front of the fire place, watching as the fire crackle in the furnace.

From his story, the boy was traveling in the wintry weather using a cart pulled by a horse. The cart owner told him that he can’t continue crossing the mountain for safety reasons, but the stubborn boy decided that he’ll course through by walking until the storm became frigid and the night pitch black. “Thank you.” When the boy looked up, Kageyama is met with familiar amber eyes. He felt his heart thump, euphoria filling his pulse, memories tagging through his vision. His eyes contain a golden copper tint with specks of hazel, the reflective light from his iris makes Kageyama think of the luminous moon.

_I wonder what is it this time_ , Kageyama thinks.

The Hinata of Meiji era was no different from the others. He was helpful, kind, and radiated sunshine when he smiled. He could garble Kageyama’s brain into a mush and stop him from stringing any simple sentence. Kageyama wanted to laugh. He thinks that he should be used to Hinata’s charming nature this time, but every time, Hinata catches him off guard whether it’s just him smiling innocently, watering the plants and murmuring beautiful things in belief that they would grow faster, or just the sight of him sitting in peace. After the night where they met, Kageyama managed to talk Hinata into staying until the winter season passed.

“Have you ever loved someone, Kageyama-san?” Hinata asked one day at a silent dinner.

Kageyama smiled. “Yes,” he replied.

“Really?” Hinata asked, voice laced with curiosity. Kageyama nodded. “How did you know that you were in love with that person? Love is a foreign feeling to me.”

“Hmm..” Kageyama trailed off. He sipped from his drink before answering, “Just cause.”

Hinata scrunched his nose. “Kageyama-san, sometimes you’re hard to understand.” Kageyama chuckled.

Kageyama’s village had the best view during fireworks displays. His house is surrounded by mountains on sides, so the booming sound of the fireworks echoes. It erupted into myriad of different, bright colors that looked pretty in the clear vault of sky. It glowed under falling snow. For Kageyama’s liking, it was too loud, he hated festivals because of that. “Pretty,” Hinata murmured beside him. They were sitting together. Hinata’s skin looked beautiful with the way the moonlit kissed him, the way his eyes twinkled in excitement and adoration made Kageyama’s heart thump loudly at his chest seemingly saying that you will never get used to Hinata Shoyo.

“Pretty,” Kageyama agreed as he turned his gaze away.

Maybe fireworks weren’t so bad after all.

“Scarves, spring, the sea, yoshoku! The moon...” Hinata looked at the growing leaf in the pot and said in a whisper, “Kageyama-san.”

The first time Hinata told Kageyama that he loved him this time was in a spur of a moment. They were in a white forest, the protruding trees covered in snow looming over them, the sound of their footsteps crushing the snow underneath. They were collecting firewood. They walked until the sky was a hue of purple, stopping to watch as the sun no longer illuminates in the sky. Calmly striding from the deeper part of the forest, Hinata’s voice was loud and high. “I love you!” he suddenly blurted, his cheeks were a tint of red, sweat tickled from his forehead, and his hands were clutching his yukata, seemingly for emotional support.

Kageyama smiled. “I know.”

The days passed quickly. Months went in a blink of an eye and it wasn’t soon enough when they started to spend years with each other. Kageyama and Hinata lives under one roof now. Hinata calls Kageyama “Tobio” again and Kageyama delights himself by calling the latter “boke” as a joke. Kageyama would go to the village to work as a teacher. Hinata sells yoshoku in their little restaurant. It was perfect. The littlest details of their relationship was its very foundation.

The sun shone brightly through the window, bringing light into the once dark room where they were lying. As the sun became brighter and the birds began to sing, Hinata kept telling Kageyama the perfect way to cook yoshoku when a blush suddenly crept in Hinata’s cheeks.

“I’m talking too much again, aren’t I Tobio?” Hinata asked, moving closer towards Kageyama.

“No, keep talking,” Kageyama insisted. “I love hearing your voice, Shoyo.”

Hinata tried to fight the flustered feeling he suddenly felt. “You always hear my voice though,” he said in a grumble, trying to hide his face.

Perfect.

That’s what it was. It was too perfect for Kageyama’s liking, so he wasn’t shocked at all when those little things, the foundation of their love, started to slip from his clutch. The Tobio’s were no longer pronounced with adoration. Hinata would be asleep and won’t wait for Kageyama to come home. The yoshoku didn’t taste the same.

“Why?” Kageyama asked. “How can you just stop loving me all of a sudden?”

“I don’t know,” Hinata answered, not meeting his eyes. “I just..” He stopped, looking for the right words if there was any. “Loved you until I didn’t.”

Kageyama fiddled with his fingers.

The same answer.

So this is it this time? How many reincarnations have said that to him? He watched as Hinata left the house, leaving him alone in the dark. Kageyama thinks that the tatami mat is colder than usual. He thinks that he should be used to it by now, the heartbreaks, but it still aches. Sometimes, he wonder if it would be easier if he chooses another path, but he shakes the thought of immediately.

Kageyama knows the ending of all their stories. Written, on-going, or even those that aren't still fleshed out. It will always end up in heartbreaks. Even though, Kageyama will choose to love in every season.

... 

Kageyama was late.

Right on the quayside, a tiny bakery huddled bright amid other towering skyscrapers. Heat was blazing through his skin as he ran along the road, disheveled hair blown by the humid wind. Flanked by trees that shielded it from the scorching ball of fire, Ariake is one of Tokyo’s known bakery. The exceptional effulgence of its interiors is a wonder to behold with its bright chandeliers and cherry colored walls. People breathed in the redolence of the baked cookies that overpowered other pastries and suffused the place. In the background, a classical music plays that soothes the newly arrived regulars from the perilous traffic fumes and ardent summer wind.

Cheery baristas brew ordered drinks and waiters dressed in aprons, sewed by the manager herself, serves espresso based beverages.

“You’re late.”

Kageyama laughed. “Yes, yes,” he replied. “I’m sorry, baby.”

Hinata furrowed his eyebrows. “I hate you,” replied.

Kageyama leaned in and kissed the boy in his forehead. “I’m sorry,” he repeated.

This time, Hinata was an accountant graduate studying at a law school near the library where Kageyama likes to read. They met in the said library. Hinata was surprisingly studious. Kageyama chuckles at the sight of him burning his eyebrows by studying. He never thought that Hinata would be studious and a future lawyer at that. Sometimes when Hinata would find another book and leave his notes in his usual spot in the library, Kageyama would secretly put notes there. Saying things such as you can do it and ace that exam, atty! It was a secret until Hinata purposely hid and found out that it was his doing.

“You’re the one putting sticky notes?” Hinata asked.

Kageyama’s eyes widened, he was leaning over and putting the notes when he suddenly sat up straight, putting the sticky paper back in his pockets. “No.”

Hinata covered his smile with a hand over his lips. “Hinata Shoyo,” he introduced himself.

_I know_ , Kageyama wanted to say. “Kageyama Tobio.”

The memories were still vivid in his mind. Kageyama remembers the dark green leaves, the feeling of hot, aromatic air. He remembers the hot path where they walked, how the sun looked in the blue skies, how donning the meadows looked.

“Stressed?” Kageyama asked as Hinata plopped down the table.

“I’m fine,” Hinata answered. “Done with the readings, but tired as hell.”

Kageyama raised a brow. “If you’re done, why bother going here in the library?”

Hinata blushed. “Dumbass.”

Their first time, this time, was a mess.

It was hot. Kageyama’s heart was thumping rapidly, his whole body on fire. His hands on Hinata’s hips, he leaned, murmuring praises in Hinata’s ears. Telling him that he was doing good, pecking a soft kiss in the strawberry lips that was slightly trembling. “It hurts,” Hinata mumbled. Kageyama removed the arm that was covering Hinata’s eyes, taking the boy’s hands into his. Kageyama only murmured, staying still for a while. Once Hinata fully adjusted, the pain ceasing, followed by needs and wants, he told Kageyama, “Move.”

It was all Kageyama needed to here. Hips buckling, back arching, sloppy kisses. Hinata’s fingers were scratching Kageyama’s back. Kageyama’s hands tight gripped in Hinata’s waist, moving his length. Every snap made each others’ nerves tingle. They were in perfect rhythm, Hinata’s high-pitched voice a music to Kageyama’s ears. He wanted more. He wanted all. When he met a certain spot, Hinata let out a moan so loud Kageyama thought his neighbors wouldn’t meet his eyes the next time they saw him.

“Found it,” the black-haired whispered.

That was summer two years ago.

“Tobio, what do you think about moving in together?” Hinata asked, eyes directly at Kageyama’s.

Kageyama’s eyes widened. “Knife,” he murmured.

“What?” Hinata asked, stifling a chuckle.

“I meant nice,” Kageyama blurted.

Today, the same summer wind was blowing their hair as they walked hand in hand. Summer times were hot and humid, but it was a delightful time for them.

“Happy third, I love you,” Kageyama whispered as Hinata opened his car.

Hinata turned to him and hugged him tightly, letting go to wrap his arms around the taller’s neck, tip-toeing to plant a soft kiss in his lover’s lips. “I love you too. Happy third,” he said. “I’m s—”

Kageyama cut him off, “Don’t. You have classes tonight, that’s important.” Kageyama caressed his cheeks. “There’s always next time.”

“Let’s go to the sea next time then,” Hinata asked.

“Bonfire at the night sea?” Kageyama suggested.

Hinata grinned. “Yeah, we both have a thing with moons.”

Kageyama smiled ear-to-ear as he remembered Hinata’s excited face. He was a few blocks away when he remembered something.

“Oh, I forgot to give him my gift.” He murmured to himself and turned a step back, running as fast and taking the box from his pocket.

The ring was crafted to showcase the choice of diamond, it has a timeless design proving simple can be truly stunning. The diamond was shining a tint of gold when light hits it, just like Hinata’s eyes.

Kageyama ran towards the block, hoping to still see Hinata’s car when a loud crash erupted.

Screaming boomed the place and a scary, metal bending sound thrashed Kageyama’s ear. He swore he heard windshield cracking or breaking. He frantically dropped everything and ran, seeing smoke from a truck and a familiar black car. There were people gathered near the smoky scene and Kageyama felt his heart drop. The hood was crumpled, the glass shattered, and the sound of squealing tires is screeching. The car was rolled upside down. His heart was thumping loudly. Fire trucks immediately arrived and so did the ambulance.

He felt his world crashing again.

Kageyama never prayed to the Gods. After they toyed with the lovers, Kageyama didn’t bother to acknowledge their existence anymore. He didn’t ask for anything. He didn’t ask longer times with Hinata, he didn’t ask the cycle to stop. However, he felt the need to ask the Gods to not let it end this way.

Hinata removed the mask on his face. “That’s why you were late?” Hinata asked, voice low. Kageyama could only nod, his eyes hot, hands trembling. “Thank you, Tobio. The ring’s pretty. I love you.”

Kageyama forced a smile, holding Hinata’s hands and kissing it. “I know.”

This time, it was a different kind of heartbreak.

... 

For Kageyama, every lifetime is special. However, this season will always be vivid to him. Canty colored foliage slowly drops from trees and shrubs to shroud the ground, a step creates a crisp sound to the ears as the leaves are crushed by the foot. The air is much chiller and every small breathe forms little clouds in the air. The foggy morning makes Kageyama wear his knitted scarf, rubbing his hands together. In this life, sweat tickled down their face as they play volleyball, friends are made, and the sound of heartbeat is steadily drumming in Kageyama’s ears. He never thought that he would be immersed to such sport after wanting to study in high school again. Playing it together with Hinata was another thing.

Kageyama was the first one to confess in their third year, right after the nationals where they placed third among all other schools. Hours after getting back in the hotel from the dinner their coach prepared, Hinata swung the balcony door open and is met with a Kageyama whose arms were crossed, seemingly in deep thought.

“Kageyama,” Hinata called. “Can’t sleep?”

“I like you.”

Silence.

Autumn nights were always cold. Due to that, rosy cheeks were never a topic. But this, this flustered Hinata, is surely not the product of a cold night.

“What?” Hinata managed to choke out.

“Before our first game began, I asked you, what was your plan after all of this,” Kageyama started. “You said that you’re probably going somewhere far away... Honestly, I don’t know if you were serious, but still, I’ve decided to confess.”

“I—”

“I like you,” Kageyama repeated. “I wanted to say it before nationals began, but I didn’t want to distract you.”

“K—”

“It’s okay. You should chase your dreams, you don’t have to reply. I just wanted to tell you before you go.” Kageyama turned and slid the balcony door open.

“I like you too, you idiot!”

Another confession on the spur of a moment. The same high voice, the same clutching in the cloth. Kageyama’s eyes widened. He was sure that his so-called heartbreak this time will be from Hinata going somewhere far away.

At the sound of the confession, two of their team members awoke. Tsukishima shook Yamaguchi’s arms. “You heard that, Cap? I told you, Kageyama would confess first.”

Three years went quick and in between their final year they shared a kiss, flushed lips telling each other the feelings coiled around the years they spent. After the separation, they shared an apartment of flurry warm nights and morning coffees. Hinata became a professional volleyball player in a famous team alongside three people they met during high school. Kageyama would work as an artist who makes blank canvas ink raw emotions. On the occasion of Christmas, they would visit their past schoolmates and drink as the night become a morning dew.

Their vision was slurred from all the drinks they ordered.

“Oy, boke,” Kageyama called.

Hinata almost tripped, but Kageyama grabbed his arms instantly. “Let’s stop for a moment. Let you sober up.”

The two took a turn on the empty park and sat down the bench, cold wind brushing against their hands. Kageyama took off his scarf and wrapped it around Hinata’s neck.

Hinata giggled. “I like your scarf,” he babbled. He scooped a little bit closer towards Kageyama and clasped his hands around the latter’s.

“You wear almost all of my clothes, Shoyo,” Kageyama comments.

“Sorry.” Hinata pouted.

Kageyama smiled, kissing Hinata’s hand. “Don’t be. I like it, my clothes look good on you.” Everything looks good on you, he wanted to add.

“Sheesh.” Hinata chuckled lightly. “You’re so straightforward and corny.”

Kageyama carrased Hinata’s hands. “You don’t like it?”

Hinata rested his head on Kageyama’s shoulder. “I like it, everything you do.”

After a moment of silence under the moonlit, the two erupted in a soft chuckle. “We’re both equally corny then,” Kageyama said.

Autumn was a breeze fall. It was cold and the wind was gusty everyday. Kageyama was indulged in the world of art. He swirled the colors in his brush and painted. He would often visit Hinata as he practiced with his team, water in his hand. He would support him play, watching the gleaming sun of a smile erupt as he spikes a goal. Then Hinata would turn to see the setter called Atsumu and flash a smile at him, his eyes wide and beaming. Happiness filling his irises. As they won the game Hinata ran to Kageyama and hugged him, reminding him of the dinner he promised to his oasis.

“Come on!” Hinata pursued. “You never told me the reason why you love me... Maybe you don’t?”

Kageyama rolled his eyes. “Please, I’ve told you a countless of time that I fell in love with you when you told me that I could fly high! Hmph.” Hinata cuddled the pillow, turning his back.

“I love you because I do,” Kageyama answered.

Hinata stifled a chuckle. “You always tell me that, I wanna know the real reason.”

“That’s it though.”

Relationships are never perfect. It wasn’t like Kageyama and Hinata didn’t fight. Scratch that–they never fought. Argued’s the better term. Why? Well, Hinata thinks that Kageyama doesn’t trust him. He thinks that Kageyama doesn’t think that he’s a dependable person. Vulnerability, Kageyama never showed Hinata that.

Kageyama never tried to tell Hinata that in his every life time, he meets Hinata. There’s a curse bestowed upon them that makes Hinata fall in love with Kageyama only to break his heart after. Kageyama has always been scared. Scared that this day will be “it”.

That’s why every time they held hands, Kageyama secured Hinata’s like he can’t hold it again the next time they see each other.

And Hinata can feel it. The unsureness of Kageyama. And the secrets that Kageyama’s trying to hide from him.

“What are you so mad for?”

Hinata fumed. “Because you don’t trust me!”

“Tell me what’s wrong! Whenever I ask you what’s wrong, you just shut me out like you feel like exposing your vulnerability is such a bad thing,” Hinata reasoned.

Kageyama softened, his arms surrounding Hinata’s waist as if on instinct. “I’m sorry.”

Hinata sighed. “You don’t have to be. I—sorry.”

“I’ll try to be more open.” Kageyama planted a soft kiss on the top of Hinata’s head. “I’m sorry. I’m not used to it.”

Hinata said, “Baby steps.”

“Do you know why I love you? It’s because I do. Love is a decision. It isn’t just a feeling. It’s not just the butterflies you feel in your stomach nor the euphoria that rush when you share your first kiss.” Kageyama stopped, staring at the amber eyes looking up to his. “It’s an act. A decision you make everyday. A commitment you do. Feeling in love and actually loving someone are both different things. And I’m most definitely choosing to love you every time because I do.”

Hinata blushed and buried his face in Kageyama’s chest. “Let’s go the sea. Then let’s tell each other… whatever we want to, okay? Let’s take the train if you’re still uncomfortable with riding cars.”

“Alright. Let’s go next time,” Kageyama answered.

Hinata raised a brow. “Next time? Let’s go now!” Kageyama chuckled and nodded.

He watched as Hinata took out clothes and after Hinata packed, Kageyama walked towards him and kissed the top of his head. “I love you.”

Hinata smiled and closed his eyes. “I know.”

Kageyama have had always two options. But he chooses to love every time. When he noticed how Hinata looked at Atsumu, he knew it, his next heartbreak. Even then, he still chooses Hinata. Every time he will.


End file.
